By Andy Bishop, Health and Safety Consultant

There would be no safety without danger, no danger without a sense of safety.  Safety is all about taking reasonable precautions, and it’s almost common sense… but it seems that the Health and Safety People across the world forgot to tell the songwriters and performers who regularly wax lyrical about their blatant disregard for Health and Safety.

Roy Orbison had clearly never heard of a Fire Risk Assessment when he sang about how ‘Love Hurts’ apparently its ‘like a stove, burns you when its hot’! May I suggest allowing some cooling off time before attempting to touch it, or perhaps a pair of nice chromium leather heat resistant gloves and apron combo when handling it.

I know that pop-stars do ‘a lot of good work for charidee mate’ and for that I applaud them; but what were Mick Jagger and David Bowie thinking of when they encouraged the whole world to start ‘Dancing in the Street’? Now I’m not going to be a killjoy, but any dancing in the street can only take place after suitable segregation has been provided to prevent the dancers from being squashed by the lorries!  And whilst we’re on the subject of traffic, don’t get me started on Ed Sheeran who encourages driving at ridiculous speed on country roads singing along to the hits of Elton John (Castle on the Hill).

Starship set about building cities on rock n roll.  I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find any information on the compressive strengths or bearing capacity of rock n roll. Quite clearly a breach of the Construction (Design & Management) Regulations. Whilst we are on the subject of structural stability, did Paul Weller give any consideration to the stability of existing structures when The Style Council sang about walls coming tumbling down? I think not.

Back in the 80s Mark Knopfler informed us all of a really dangerous work place that he knew about (and kept secret) in his song Industrial Disease.  Even the Mother Superior was at it in the Sound of Music when she instructed everyone to ‘Climb every Mountain and ford every stream’ with no cold weather gear, crampons or waterproofs in sight.  I doubt very much if she had any safety boats on standby with a competent crew either. Whilst we are up high I wonder if Led Zeppelin were aware of the requirements of the Work at Height Regulations when they sold the ‘stairway to heaven’?  I can’t see any mention of suitable guard rails or fall prevention in the lyrics.

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